<h1 style="text-align: center;">Breaking Out Of His Conversation Cave</h1>
<p>I finally stopped by Miss Malice after weeks of <a href="http://dannyfrom504.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/dead-kennedys/">Danny pimping her</a>, stumbling across her recent post The Importance Of Being Interest(ing). What began as a typical “I was looking at this hot guy's <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2023/01/16/the-5-photos-that-can-make-or-break-your-dating-profile/">online dating profile</a> and he turned out to be not perfect” post became an actually thoughtful discussion of his dis-attractive traits, in particular what she perceived as a mild mindset of victimhood (which she dubbed Nice Guy Syndrome) and an active lifestyle of saying “no” to an active lifestyle.</p>
<p>It's tempting to write this off as female entitlement, but Miss Malice is absolutely right -- a man has to be able to communicate his value in a way a woman will viscerally understand, a way that will make her curious and hungry for more. Being “interesting” is a cross-fade of social and emotional value, the ability to display value and to tickle her soul.</p>
<h2>Understanding What Makes Men Interesting</h2>
<p>Mystery said in a clip I can't find: “if you want women to be interested in you, you have to BE...interesting.”</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Fa1IN1GN4Q4?si=ZkXH7C_7D_eF46DM" width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>
<p>Roosh said that [tight game comes down to being interesting and being cool.</p>
<p>Cf. the 40-year Old Virgin's discussion of <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2020/10/26/connecting-with-women-through-conversation/">how to talk to women</a>, in which Andy complains he's not interesting:</p>
<p>(Watch also as Andy executes a textbook day-game pickup.)</p>
<p>Game advisors talk a lot about aloofness, but it's a particular kind of aloofness that works -- the ability to be in a woman's conversational and mental space without actually revealing everything about yourself and destroying your sense of mystery and potential. The antiquated phrase “unknowable” gets it across better than aloofness, which can be confused with simple physical non-presence (and which is omega game).</p>
<p>Anyway, I sent a comment to Miss Malice:</p>
<p><em>I think this is a major thing guys struggle with with women, how to display their interesting characteristics without looking desperate to impress you. Lots of guys don't like to brag and so keep their light under a basket.</em></p>
<p><em>A well-calibrated aloof personality, one of the classic chick-crack frames, holds out his interesting parts, but doesn't really let you into them, creating interest+intrigue+unavailability all at the same time. But a simply witholding personality doesn't tell you anything, which keeps you away but at the price of denying his own persona.</em></p>
<p><em>And so many guys I know ARE interesting but can't <a href="https://blog.loveawake.com/2021/03/22/breaking-the-ice-with-women/">express it to women</a>, or can't express it in a way that connects with a woman. It's sad.</em></p>
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<h2>Helping Shy Guys Show Their Value</h2>
<p>She flattered me in a followup (abridged):</p>
<p>A comment from the (somewhat) elusive Badger? <em>I have arrived.</em></p>
<p>That's very true. The somewhat reserved persona is certainly more appealing than the arrogant type...what would you consider a starting point for a guy looking to peek out of his conversation cave to avoid making the Blank Wall impression?</p>
<p>One thing I've recommended to shyer, modest guys to build some interest is to look over the pickup artists' various value routines and pick a couple he thinks he can do, and drill the performance. Good ones are the ring routine, the cube, the strawberry game and the cold palm read (a game of complete meta-ironic bullshit, both sides know it's fake). More of this stuff can be found in kokology texts.</p>
<p>The point is that it's a cheap way for a guy to get a woman's emotional center fired up, so she's engaged in what he's saying from that point forward. The goal is to be able to be entertaining for a few minutes, but with canned material so he doesn't feel modest about sharing himself. These guys have figured out which shticks have some connection value with women -- use that knowledge to bootstrap your own confidence to show off a bit.</p>
<p>One of the things I really believe about game is that rather than being fake, it allows a guy to truly 'be himself' -- by building value and interest from other people, he can show his true personality without feeling judged and debased, because people find him interesting and want to know what he's really like.</p>
<p>Sometimes just one or two of those routines is enough to make a girl start querying the guy...”wow that's so interesting. How did you learn that? What do you do? Do you have any hobbies?”</p>
<p>Then he's on the right side of things, he's not showing off but responding to someone's interest.</p>